Are there such things.

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by arsynrose, Aug 6, 2009.

  1. arsynrose

    arsynrose New Member

    My boyfriend doesn't believe there is such a thing as a"switch" that you have to be either dominant or a sub, i don't believe him...there are times i want to take over and use the whip on him and there are times when i want to be whipped and i do both..i enjoy both. but he doesnt believe me! is there anything i can do to convince him or is it a rare thing to be a switch and i should just give up ?
  2. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    i don't think thet you should give up me my bro my girlfriend all are switchers
    and what is his position in your relationship sub or dom?
    if he's sub make him whip you and etc if he's dom...don't really know thet'll be a problem
  3. Little_M

    Little_M Member

    It'd probably be quite difficult to get such a staunch Dom to switch... Maybe suggest some scenarios where he "orders" you to whip him, or to be on top? From what I hear (please correct me if I'm wrong), forced topping is also quite stimulating for the Dom.
  4. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    yep thets right
  5. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    there are such things as switch,a nd as someone who has been in this lifestyle for as long as i have, I've seen more switch that didn't know then i saw doms or subs who didn't know. I'm going to be bold here and say he's probably afraid he'd enjoy being a sub to much to even try, because that would shatter his fragile sensibilities about the lifestyle in general. I attest that any dom worth his salt is one that has been a sub before making the switch. How can you expect to understand what someone else is going through, if you yourself have never experienced it?
  6. arsynrose

    arsynrose New Member

    thank you Sparrow this is exactly what i told him!:p
  7. monocrome

    monocrome Member

    you don't have to BE a sub to experience submitting either :) so really he has nothing to fear.

    also, just a suggestion in case he REALLY does NOT want to be topped HIMSELF. i have a lot of issues with topping men... it is really a limit for me - so I could totally understand someone who also just doesn't want to be topped. (does that mean they shouldn't experience it? that is not for me to say. even with my issues, i've at least experienced topping men, so i can accurately speak to how i feel when it's going on).

    anyway, if what you are after isn't topping HIM, but just topping in general... i have found that it has been a turn on for me to top other people (usually women).
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2009

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