Anal sex

Discussion in 'General fetish discussions' started by vanilla137, Oct 7, 2009.

  1. vanilla137

    vanilla137 New Member

    Ok, i'm looking for help..

    It seems that when I try anal sex, my ass clenches and i can't control it. I know that this is a normal reaction...what I want to know is how to relax enough to allow for penetration?

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  2. subspace

    subspace Member

    Have you tried using plugs?
    If not start small then work up in size. This may help you to be more comfortable and help you relax so you can enjoy more.
    Good luck, let us know how it works out.
  3. J3Z

    J3Z New Member

    Yeah, starting with small plugs is generally the best idea...letting the body to get used it...lots of lube also helps ^^

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  4. AMgirl

    AMgirl New Member

    Hello! My last two boyfriends were anal fiends haha! I have never used any sort of toys, I imagine they would be too firm and cause me pain. My guys have just used their fingers first, with lots and lots of lube! Lube is crucial. Have your man start out with a pinky first, actually, have him start with just rubbing and massaging around your ass first. Once you are more relaxed with his pinky, have him use his pointer finger. When you are ok with that, two fingers. Unless he is really huge, two fingers should be a good enough stretch. However I have found that even with all this, sometimes when he first enters me, it still causes pain that is beyond the good pain. He will take it out and give me a couple minutes, and after that it seems like its all good to go! Sorry for the long explanation, I hope it helps!
  5. imsadman333

    imsadman333 New Member

    You can try moving the mussels you would when you have a bowel movement. That tells your sphincter to open up and in pops the cock.
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  6. GreyMac

    GreyMac Member

    Everyone below has good advice, you can't go wrong if you follow it. The only thing I think could be added would be to really stress how important it is for the Dominant one here to BE PATIENT! (Sorry for yelling, there, but it's something I feel strongly about.;)) Too many people have been turned off to how wonderful anal play can be because someone in their past got overeager and tried to rush things. If ever there was a place where foreplay is absolutely critical, it's with anal play, be it sex or toys, Don't rush into it. For an anal virgin, five or more minutes of just circling massage, pressure and teasing insertion of a fingerTIP is good. and lots of lube! Then add some more lube. Then progress to the finger then two fingers technique mentioned by AMgirl, then on to toys. Toys are especially good to get the anus accoustomed to being used for penetration.

    Good luck!
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2009
  7. vanilla137

    vanilla137 New Member

    Thanks for all the advice guys!!!! Can't wait to try it! I must say, I am very lucky with my partner-he is very patient!!!
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  8. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    still best idea is too use plugs small first large last we started like this
  9. subspace

    subspace Member

    AMgirl - just the thought of anal makes me very uncomfortable but I am still very curious. Toys are all I have used up to this point. The advantage is there is no embarrassment, you set the pace, you decide the size and get to know your own body. The first toy I used was the size of a finger and very soft. It allowed me to become a little less anal about anal. OMG i am so sorry - it just happened! :p
    Relax and explore and do whatever you are most comfortable with!
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  10. GreyMac

    GreyMac Member

    Heinous Offences, take two....
  11. Phantasm

    Phantasm Member

    Gentle pressure, stop, back off. Repeat. Your outer sphincter in within your conscious control, your inner sphincter isn't. By applying the pressure, allowing it to sit a moment (you need not shove all teh cock in, just enough pressure to the point just before discomfort), and backing off, before repeating, you allow time and pressure to open your hole, and the lack of pain when it's done properly helps relaxing.

    Yes, toys and gradual getting used to it will help a bit. Yes, relaxing a bit beforehand will help a bit. But essentially, it' getting comfortable with whatever is penetrating you, not getting relaxed/stetched enough for it.

    And, as everyone else has said, lube. Lots of lube. As much as you need.
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  12. I personally find that the most comfortable position to be in to do anal is lying on your side, with your partner lying behind you in a spooning position. This, if I remember rightly, was later proved somewhere to be a well known fact.

    It's best to get as comfortable as possible before you even touch it, and this will probably help you to relax too :)
  13. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    I think greyMac hit the nail right on the head with this one. patience and communication make it a much more relaxing and enjoyable experience for everyone involved. tell them what your feeling. Its your body, and they have no way of knowing if their going to fast or not if you don't speak up. I've had partners that take 2 mins of prep their first time, and some seasoned vets that take 20 minutes.... the difference is all in talking and prepwork.
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  14. vanilla137

    vanilla137 New Member

    Okay...has anyone tried the sideways entry position mentioned by OLP? Is it more comfy?
  15. GreyMac

    GreyMac Member

    From what I understand, it's definately more comfy. Men who have serious proctology work, biopsies, surgery, etc and anyone having GI work in general such as colonoscopy, the work is performed in this position, on side with knees pulled up somewhat.
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2009

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