am I being stupid?

SubMumUK · Nov 23, 2010

I'm pregnant and I haven't been into the BDSM scene for a long time, only started a year ago so I was wondering if it's stupid that I want to become friends with subs before finding my own top?

sebastian · Nov 23, 2010

I'm not quite sure I understand what you're asking, SMUK. It's a good idea to build friendships with other subs; they can provide advice and moral support and encouragement. They can help you find a good dom, and help you figure out if a particular dom is right for you. A good dom will normally allow you to have sub friends (and a dom who wants to socially isolate you is usually a bad dom). So finding a few sub friends and asking them to help you ease into subbing is a not a bad idea at all.

SubMumUK · Nov 23, 2010

I was once propositioned by a top once but I told him I wanted to make friends with other subs, ease me into the lifestyle and help me figure out what I want, and he called me stupid so it's played on my mind for awhile now. I KNOW I'm a sub so it's not a case of finding that out.

drkangl87 · Nov 23, 2010

Seb is right it's not a bad thing for you to want to be friends with subs and whoever told you that you were being stupid is wrong cause since you're new to the scene having people around you who have been in the scene for awhile is very helpful.

L8NightQ · Nov 23, 2010

Agreed. Seeking out other subs is actually a healthy instinct. Having friends that understand you is never wrong. The other guy was.

Welcome to the forum submom.

sebastian · Nov 23, 2010

He was either an unusually thin-skinned Dom or he was an abuser masquerading as a Dom. Either way he was wrong and someone not worth listening to.

am I being stupid?

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