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Good question. When I play with a new boy, I generally do a check-in the next day, just to make sure that no unexpected emotional issues have come up that the sub might be struggling with. Sounds like you're doing the same thing.
I think to some extent it depends on how close you are to the sub in question. If you're already friends, you can probably just bring it up in the course of normal talk. But if you have only just met, and perhaps aren't sure if the sub wants to play again, I would do it as a text message or email. To the extent that you have a relationship, it's a power exchange one, but unless you're fairly sure the sub wants to continue being submissive to you, I think it's best to not push your dominance too far. So I tend to be lightly paternal, trying to demonstrate that I'm trustworthy, genuinely concerned with the sub's well-being, and not just being a control freak.
So I typically send a text message that says something like "hey, boy. How are you doing? I just wanted to make sure that you're still ok with everything we did yesterday."
The tricky thing with hook-ups is that it can be hard to gauge a new sub's reactions long distance. Some subs just want a no-strings play session, and they don't want continuing contact. These subs may not respond at all or may be very curt. "I'm fine, thanks." Obviously, that doesn't guarantee that they're fine, but if that's how they respond, I think doms need to be respectful and just accept that the sub has no interest in anything further.
Some subs may respond that they're feeling depressed or ashamed or moody. That's an entirely normal response. They might be responding to the drop in endorphins, or they may be wrestling with the emotional implications of being submissive (or both). If this is an inexperienced sub, it's important to reassure them that this is not uncommon in new subs; it's not a sign that they're sick or defective or that every play session will produce these experiences. So if that's what the sub says, offer reassurance and then ask if s/he wants to talk about it. If s/he does, call or text or meet for coffee, but let the sub set the terms of the interaction. Your job here is not to be dominant (apart from supportive paternalism perhaps) but rather to help the sub make sense of what s/he is feeling.
If s/he doesn't want to talk or meet, you might suggest that s/he have something comforting and sugary, like chocolate, chai, or coffee with milk and sugar. If the sub drop (which is the general term for negative feelings after play) is biochemical in nature, a little sugar may help the body replenish.
Obviously, if the sub responds positively, and wants to play again, great! Set up a new time, or do some long-distance play or dirty talking or whatever. But don't shift back into dominant mode until the sub has in some way signaled that s/he's ready to be submissive again.
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Just played a scene with a new sub for the first time and we have only know each other for a short time and I'm wondering the best way to check in is a day or so after play? It's unfortunately too far too be face to face but over the phone. Any advice would be fabulous!
