Advice on how to become a Dominatrix

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Lady Darling, Oct 26, 2012.

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  1. Lady Darling

    Lady Darling New Member

    Good afternoon,

    I am looking for advise. I would like to become a Dominatrix but I have no idea where to start.
    Can anyone help?

    LD
     
  2. shauwn

    shauwn Member

    First thing I would ask is do you have a partner already? If so, discuss with them where you want to go with this.
    I'm a submissive guy, and for me, I love it when a woman takes control. Not that she does everything, but she leads the scene. Be it socially or sexually.
    I hope this helps : )
     
  3. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    Shauwn, I may be mistaken in this particular case, but 'dominatrix' (as opposed to 'domme' or 'mistress' or so on) generally denotes someone who is paid to dominate non-sexually.

    OP, if that's what you meant, you should first find a dominatrix in your area who is willing to train you and let you practice with her. Search through the threads in 'General BDSM,' there have been a few other women looking for advice on it and more in depth replies.

    If you just want to be a domme, I suggest you read the Newcomer's FAQ and ask more things based on that.
     
  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Lady, it's not clear what you're asking.

    1) What do you need to do to become a domme?
    2) What do you need to do to become a prodomme?

    If it's 1, yeah, read the Newcomer's FAQ. If it's 2, do you have experience as a domme? If not, you need to start with point 1. If yes, Smallest is right--contact a prodomme and talk with her about what she needed to do to get started. You might be well-off working under a prodomme for a while and 'learning the ropes' (if you'll indulge the pun) before striking out on your own.
     
  5. Lady Darling

    Lady Darling New Member

    I will say I was a little vague. Apologies.

    Shauwn I do not have a partner and I know no one in the fetish world. A complete newbie as they say.

    Thank you Smallest I shall look through the threads and the FAQ.

    Hi Sebastian it is number 2. But with no experience so I want to head down the right path.
    I will have a look out for any prodommes as I would love to be taught "the ropes" first.
     
  6. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Ok, so you're an inexperienced kinkster who thinks she wants to be a prodomme. It's important to realize that prodomming is a job, whereas kink is a personal preference. Being a prodomme does not require you to be kinky, or dominant in your own sex life (in fact many prodommes are submissive in their personal sex lives). So regardless of how you like to have sex, you can be a prodomme. But you do at least have to have some knowledge of and skill at being dominant. My advice would be to make contact with your local BDSM community--look for your local munch. Find someone willing to mentor you--as a domme, you're likely to have play partners willing to help you train, since there are generally more subs than dommes. Once you're sure you enjoy it and have some skill at it, find a prodomme and ask to train with her.

    Read through the Newcomer's FAQ. It will help you learn some basic ideas and help you develop a vocabulary so you can talk intelligently about what you want.

    I guess what I'm saying is that you're a ways from becoming a prodomme. You have a lot to learn, you need to develop a wardrobe and a toy bag, and you need to become comfortable with the scene. So look at this as a goal to be achieved.
     
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