Advice for First time domme....

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by JamieT, Jun 29, 2010.

  1. JamieT

    JamieT New Member


    So I've casually been into various parts of bdsm for a while now, and i porn have enjoyed the aspects of both males dominating and males being dominated. I've never really got into it in the bedroom though - with ex girlfriends I might have tied them up/been tied up myself. but there was never anything other than that, nor any taking any advantage of that.

    so I've been with my new girlfriend for a couple of months now, and with her too had tied her up lightly (scarves, hands together... never to a bed or anything) but last weekened she said 'can you tie me up again'... anyway I was horny as hell and did, but then tied her legs together as well and teased her for hours, she was absolutely crazy for it and I thought I would take it a little further. I told her she had to do as I said, not to speak unless spoken to... this all by the way stuff I've never done before it just came out. So I kept her in her underwear and told her she wasn't allowed to kiss me unless she did something good and there would be punishment if she disobeyed. she tried to kiss me and so would give her light spanks which she enjoyed so I gave her harder ones which kept her quiet for a while (I did ask her throughout if this was all okay and she excitedly said yes). I'd do other things like make her (with her hands tied together) toss me off for a while and when she did she'd get a reward such as gradually bringing her underwear down, before eventually untying her legs and then taking it off. eventually it led to us having sex while she was tied up, I came and she didn't. and I said during if she was good I would let her cum next time. She told me to come all over her which I didnt (because she asked me to do it)....

    anyway. Afterwards she told me that she'd never one that before and it was the most amazing thing ever. she was speechless for a ong time (even without the orgasm)... the aspects she liked most were being teased to hell (her legs tied up for over an hour with only me breathing heavily through her underwear, and her having to do stuff for me. she also at one point asked me to spank her so I did it lightly a few times and then a few really hard telling her she shouldnt ask me for things, and she said that was good and it made her realise she needed to be a good girl.

    Now, because my experience has only ever been with light bondage and never any of the discipline (if you can call it that) and teasing, I need to know a few other things I could try or introduce. I'm quite sure she wants to keep it in the bedroom rather than a lifestyle thing. This is also a long distance relationship, we see each other every weekend for a long weekend, but in the week not much more. So I don't really want suggestions fo making this a full time thing, just some other things that could be used for punishments/rewards, and actions that require those...

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  2. Savelle

    Savelle New Member

    My suggestion is to first take the experience out of the bedroom and onto your computer through any of the various instant messenger applications freely available online and try role playing. If she enjoyed the experience like you said she did then chances are she either has had similar fantasies before or is day dreaming about it with increased frequency now; and what better way to explore whats going on inside her head (without running up your phone bill) and possibly adding excitement of humiliation, by making her write out her thoughts.

    If you want to know whats going to rock her world, and if you're really interested in making the experience mutually beneficial spend your time focused on your (yours and hers) own existing interests and then explore new possibilities together! (Did I mention the small perk that communicating online together means both you and your partner both have access to tons of information and websites that you can share links to. Even at the disadvantage of having a long distance relationship you can still enjoy the feeling of doing something together)

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