Advice for a newbie?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Crazyguy123, Apr 4, 2013.

  1. Crazyguy123

    Crazyguy123 Member

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    In just the last year or so I became very curious about BDSM, mostly due to some fetishes I have and fantasies I recently developed. After researching and learning as much as I can, I've become very interested.

    I've never actually had a BDSM experience, but I was wondering, would it be a good idea to have my first experience with a professional domme? At least then I would know that my first mistress was experienced. If I do seek after a professional domme, how exactly would I go about finding out from past subs of her's how good at it she is? Did anyone here have their first experience with a profesional?
    Last edited: Apr 8, 2013
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  2. Crazyguy123

    Crazyguy123 Member

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    Thank you for removing the spam, moderator who removed it. I appreciate it. :)
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2013
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  3. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    A pro-domme has many advantages.
    1) You're fairly certain she's experienced. You can discuss her experience with you and it's possible she can offer references. She might have reviews you can read.
    2) You get to decide exactly what she does to you, since you're ultimately in charge. You can give him a list of dos and don'ts, or you could give her a fairly scripted scene. Some prodommes might not accept that much instruction, but I think most would. So you can essentially get the scene you are looking for and find out if you like it as much as you think you will. (Warning, I've played with several newbies who DIDN'T like being submissive the way they thought they would. While uncommon, it could happen to you. But hey, at least you'll have crossed it off your list.)
    3) You can relax with the knowledge that she's almost certainly not dangerous.
    4) You can relax and know that sex isn't going to happen, just bondage, pain, and/or dominance. Very few prodommes will have sex with you, since prodomming is legal but prostitution isn't. And the risk of an STD is virtually non-existent, unless she's very careless about cleaning her toys. (So ask how she cleans them.)

    But they do have a few drawbacks.
    1) It costs money, and the good ones may cost a lot of money, depending on how much competition they have in your area.
    2) Depending where you live, you may have to travel to meet one. (But that's true for amateur dommes too.)
    3) You won't have sex, which might limit how much you enjoy the scene. (But it might not.)
    4) You may feel less than fully submissive, since you're calling the shots. But a good prodomme can probably get you past that into the treatment you want.
    5) Depending on your personal morals, you might feel sleazy afterwards. Some people prefer to do BDSM with a real partner, not a partner for pay.

    Overall, I'd say do it, unless one of the negatives is a big issue you haven't thought of.
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  4. Crazyguy123

    Crazyguy123 Member

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    Thanks for the tips. I'll make sure to be thorough when booking a session with a pro-domme for the first time and make sure that she has some references as to how good of a domme she is and asking about how she cleans her toys is one thing I have not really thought about, so I'll make sure I do that.

    Most of the drawbacks I am already aware of. The particular pro-domme I would like to see is probably only an hour drive away, but when I have the money, I might try moving to a closer location so the first session doesn't require such a long drive.

    As for the cost, that could be a problem at the moment, but I'm sure with some work I could save up enough for a session and not having sex, for me personally, is not a problem. I would think for the first session, there might be a way that I could only have experiences I enjoy, while still being able to feel fully submissive and satisfy the domme, but I'll just have to wait and see I suppose. I certainly hope I enjoy the experience when I finally do get the chance though!

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