a little help

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by 13circles, Jun 10, 2012.

  1. 13circles

    13circles New Member

    My gf & I are starting up in bdsm I am a dom and she is my sub. we have been having fun with it. however she is a really lazy sub, & would like to find more enjoyable activities that would get her up and involved with pleasing me. instead of just laying there while I do things to her.

    I'd really appreciate any suggestions
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  2. subarama30

    subarama30 Member

    If you are her Dom then it seems pretty simple to me, you want her more involved and active, then you tell her to be!

    You are calling the shots so you get to demand what you want, you want a bj tell her to get to it...you want to just lay there while she rides you, jump aboard girl...you get the idea.

    Is she really lazy or does she just think that being submissive means that she has to just lay there and 'take it'? That can be a common misconception I think with those starting out. Do you want her to be more defiant, fight back maybe?

    You have to think about what you want from this as the Dom. Do you like her being helpless? Do you want to inflict pain? Have her follow instructions to the letter? Role play? What aspect of being in control do you want? Until you figure that out she can't be expected to know how to react to you.
  3. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    There are lots of options. Subarama has mentioned some, but there are lots. Perhaps you could start your play with her stripping naked and doing some domestic chores while you relax and ogle her. She cleans until you feel you need to use her. That way she earns being tied up and worked on.

    Or train her in slave positions. That way the focus is on her doing something and you judging her.

    Or give her an assignment during a play and reward and discipline her for how well she does. For example, if you're spanking her, require that she doesn't make any noise at all. If she makes noise, discipline her somehow, but if she doesn't, reward her. And if you really want to discipline her, make sure that she makes noise.

    Or give her a training goal to work toward--kneeling motionless for 5 minutes, for example.

    Or start play with her doing a striptease for you, complete with music. Tell her that she's not allowed to show tits or pussy for 5 minutes, and if you don't think she did a good enough job, you're going to discipline her.

    Or do a role-play scene where she has a character to perform. You're a burglar who broke into the apartment and she's a victim who has to try and talk you out of raping her.

    And there's always the basics--I'm gonna watch the football game while you give me a blow job, bitch
  4. Knots

    Knots Member

    Regarding laziness; there's some rather..."fun" ways to punish laziness. Threatening to make them run round a field if they don't put enough effort into pleasing you is just the start? xd.

    Somehow can't imagine you doing that with a sub, Sebby. Just can't see you watching football xd.

    ...Not entirely sure why I'm trying to imagine you doing that with a sub...
  5. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    True. I'd probably be watching something on HBO.

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