24/7 Relationships

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by MissRiskey, Mar 4, 2010.

  1. MissRiskey

    MissRiskey New Member

    I have a couple questions, pertaining mostly to those in a 24/7 D/S relationship. And it may seem like an odd or naive but....

    How do you decide if a 24/7 relationship is right for you? Or get into one for that matter?

    See, I've been interested in BDSM since just before I turned sixteen. And ever since then I haven't wanted to be anything other then somebodies submissive. I don't just fantasize about it, it isn't just something that turns me on (Although that is there) but it's something I dream about. It's something that I feel I would be happy in.

    I can't really see myself doing anything else in life. I'm in college and I can't pick a major, can't decide what to do with my life because I don't really want to do anything with my life other then dedicate it to serving someone.

    Part of me wonders if it is just because I'm young and indecisive. And recently I've spent more and more night lying awake wondering why I want this so badly and if it's something I'm just going to grow out of. If I'm too young to make a decision like that seeing as I'm only nineteen at this point in time.

    On top of that (And this could simply be the few area's I've lived in) I have a hard time finding a Dom who is interested in more then just bedroom play. I could be approaching this entirely wrong, or maybe just not looking deep enough.

    So does anyone has any advice on how to decide if a 24/7 relationship is right for you, on I should go about finding one, or any helpful information on the matter at all?

    Please and Thank You.
  2. Sub4Life

    Sub4Life Member

    I just kind of fell into it. I am in a 24/7 relationship, but I still go to school and have my own life. So, you dont need to stop school or anything like that in order to have it...unless you want.

    My Master and me began dating, and he was big into BDSM before me, and I had always had an interest in it. So, I'm not sure how to approach it, since it just kind of happened to me.

    Wish I could be more help.
  3. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    Heh, if this wasnt a BDSM forum I would say it sounds like you want to be a cute housewife!

    I'm not sure that I'm in a completely 24/7 relationship, but like sub4life it just sort of happened (although both of us were totally new to the lifestyle). I dont think 24/7 is something people just jump right into, its something that slowly builds up over time. Are your bedroom-only doms just boyfriends (or girlfriends, I don't know)? Or are they people you happen to hook up with? I would start with just finding someone who you enjoy being with and enjoy being submissive too, and little by little you can start moving towards 24/7. And if your dom seriously just isn't into that, you might have to move on or think a little more about why you want it so much.
    If you aren't having any luck connecting with doms that know, you could always try the internet! A lot of people seem to get together like that and/or have online relationships (but I dunno, I've grown up being pretty wary of meeting people online, but that's just me)
    I hope that was a little helpful! <3
  4. WmaGuy

    WmaGuy Member

    I have never been in a true 24/7 relationship - though I have "played the part" for nearly a week with my last girlfriend. It was but a brief peek into what some choose as a lifestyle. Truthfully, I'm not sure I'd be up to it. I do like the "traditional roles" and am perfectly comfortable with a D/s relationship in the bedroom, but I like a bit of equality in my relationships as a whole...Perhaps I have not yet met the woman who would inspire me on a journey like that?
  5. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    MissRiskey, first let me welcome you to the forum. I'm not sure if I can be on any assistance to you, but I am in a D/s 24/7 relationship. Let me tell you that you are not to young. I was 16 when i started and my was was 20 when she decided she wanted to be serious about it. For the record, I'll be 30 this month, she's 25.
    I believe that you know, when you know, and to me it sounds like, you know. There's an age old saying that goes, "if you have to ask the question, you already know the answer." Are you ready for 24/7, sure, because you know deep down its what you want, and all you need now is for someone to validate your desire, and you will have your wishes and dreams come true.
    As for finding a suitable dom willing to engage in a 24/7, thats a much tougher course of action. You've done the best thing you can do by looking to online communities. They provide a safe environment for you to talk and discuss. next step would e either locating a dom online (if you wouldn't mind transferring colleges and moving), or finding a local munch, to meet people in your area, in a casual non play setting.
    If you'd like to discuss it further, feel free to contact me, and perhaps i can be of further assistance. Good luck with everything, and once again, welcome.
  6. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    To sound a slightly contrary note, I think it's important to keep in mind that as we age and mature, many things that seem important to use in our late teens and 20s can seem less important in our 30 and 40s. When I was 20, I thought I was very conservatively Christian and could ignore my homosexuality, whereas I now know that I am a quite liberal Christian and embrace my homosexuality. So, by all means pursue your interest in 24/7 if it seems right to you, but my advice would be to not make any major decisions that you can't unmake. For example, don't quit school or your dream job just because you find the 24/7 relationship you want, since you may find in future years that you might regret that, and if the relationship falls apart, you want your education and job to fall back on. Don't tattoo your dom's name on yourself right away-wait a while until you know that the relationship will last. I suppose what I really mean is, don't assume that the first 24/7 relationship you find will be the one that will last forever.
  7. smilingservent

    smilingservent New Member

    There will always be more opportunities and money when you have that piece of paper, regardless of what it says. It is generally a safer route to keep going through college and work for that so you don't have to be dependent on someone else--you will be because you want to be and not need to be.

    While in college, and deciding on your degree, you can always choose something that will continue keeping your interests in being a slave by choosing a degree that caters to that. For example, most schools have a family and consumer science degree that is like a "housewife" degree that could aid in your ability to be a better sub. Also it seems that you are rather introspective because you are questioning the "why's" of why you think this way, so psychology might be of an interest to you. there are also several interesting classes that I have taken in psychology such as psychology of deivent behavior and psychology of sexuality that could aid you in your search for your answers.

    I know that my master loves the fact that I am a well educated women because it makes me more interesting to converse with being at a more equal level of education with him. I try to see my last two semesters in college right now as a way of self improvement and thus becoming a better sub....otherwise I would be missing all my classes to try and see how many rounds I can handle from him. :)

    Good luck in your search!
  8. subspace

    subspace Member

    Let me just add that it is very common at your age and in your situation to feel apprehensive about the future and given the current state of the economy makes these feeling more intense. I urge you to examine where your feelings are truly coming from. It is perfectly reasonable to believe that they come from a true need to serve but it is just as likely that they are coming from a place of uncertainty and apprehension about your future. No matter what happens and what you decide to do, if you have a degree you will have more options available to you in your future.
    Good luck and welcome!
  9. YAY!!! Subspace is back!!! (sorry to side track the thread. Just had to make note of it. :D )
  10. subspace

    subspace Member

    Thanks ML!

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