There will always be more opportunities and money when you have that piece of paper, regardless of what it says. It is generally a safer route to keep going through college and work for that so you don't have to be dependent on someone else--you will be because you want to be and not need to...
Especially in a church- I do not see anything odd about having the typical line of "to honor and obey" in the vows. That generally follows along the lines of the vows that most churches use.
I also think it would be less shocking for your mother if you both say that vow. I even see how it...