Recent content by Kor

I like to make a sharp distinction between "pain play" and punishment. We do a lot of things in BDSM/TPE that *look* like punishment, and sometimes the enjoyment is definitely one-sided, but actual punishment is a separate thing. If my sub needs to be punished, I tell her why, have her...

You don't have to be rude, or forceful, or domineering, or scary to be dominant. Nor do you have to be inflexible, or always right, or without concern for your submissive's feelings, goals, or desires. Not that any of those don't have their place, but they're just social tools.

I like the way that's phrased. It asks a question without trying to bias the answer. Downside it, it requires an essay-type response, and while those can be very precise and meaningful, it can be hard to turn them into tabular data. To extract maximum value from the responses, you'd have to...

I know that question can be a sore spot, but consider that by asking it he A) obtains independent data to compared to "everyone knows" or "reputable sources say" data (which, unfortunately, isn't always correct) B) obtains fairly detailed demographic data to compare to his answers With a...

I'll still fall back to my usual suggestion - write, or find some short erotic fiction online that describe things you'd like to try, then have him read them when you're not around. Then ask if he'd like to try something similar with you. Not having to deal with someone's presence takes a...

Taser!

The interesting thing is, much of the "straight" romance that red reads is, by the standards I grew up with, pornography. Not just explicit descriptions of intercourse, but strong DS and mild S&M as well. The only difference I can see between those and "real" porn is that porn is a...

How about black semi-formal, hair greased back, some dark eye shadow, and fangs? Vampires are still trendy, at least for the next few months...

Many hundreds of years of literature and popular music, and later the cinema and television, have impressed on people that true love is reciprocated, and that it is forever. Neither, however, are true. Just because someone loves you don't mean you must love them in return. It doesn't even...

If you're jealous of another online slave of an online master... walking away and picking the next master off the list isn't going to help things.

As I've said before, I view BDSM as a form of enhanced communication...

When the stick is enjoyable, it's easy to forget the carrot. It is difficult to maintain a successful long-term relationship without some of both.

We have one a bit smaller than that, with suede lashes. The narrow, thin lashes give a lot of thud without a lot of snap or sting. (by now there are probably official specialized words for this sort of thing...) The lashes spread the impact out over a wide area.

Let's go back to the beginning. Does your husband know he's supposed to be the dominant? Does he know what you expect from him? Does he know that you expect him to direct your behavior? If so, does he know how, other than getting angry before punishing you? From what you've given us to...

Dominance and submission aren't exclusive things. You can have quite a bit of both.