New sub with a question

[veritas]

Well first off, Hi. I'm new to the forums (obviously) and also pretty new to the D/s lifestyle. I have a Dom who has done a wonderful job introducing me to all the various aspects of bdsm, but other than that, I have no real community to talk to or learn from. I'm in a pretty rural area, and it's a bit frustrating at times.

I'd like to know how other subs (and doms too) feel about crying. On a few occasions, after some really intense play, I've just burst into unexpected tears. Is this a normal sort of reaction, or a signal that we are pushing too far? The first time it happened, it frankly scared the crap out of me. But it also felt really cathartic, and afterwards I felt so relaxed and happy. In day to day life, I'm a fairly tight reined person; crying in front of people makes me extremely uncomfortable. So the fact that my Dom can bring me to the point of tears--and I like it--makes me feel pretty weird.

[LadyMarie]

I think tears as you described, are cathartic. The fact that you liked crying and felt relaxed and happy afterwards is even more testimony to letting yourself go. What was you Dom's reaction to your tears?

[veritas]

You know, he was really okay about it. Didn't freak out or pull back at all; just took care of me while I got it out of my system. Come to think of it, he actually told me he liked being able to make me cry and thanked me for being able to get that vulnerable with him.

So I'm not really troubled by it for his sake--after I got over the first time and the initial thoughts of *Ohmygod he is going to think I am a freak and never ever want to do this with me again!*-- but for the way it makes me feel way, way more exposed than I would ever allow myself to be in normal life. I don't necessarily want to avoid it, but I'm not sure what I need in order to feel "safe" enough to do it without feeling self-conscious afterwards.

[PTs_Pet]

veritas,
i can relate.. I'm a very 'tight reined person', quite a hard ass, really in my 'out' life.. not at all the Sub persona that comes to me very naturally and organically in my relationship. i NEVER cry in front of others, never feel the need to and if rarely do, i just dont do it. i knew my boyfriend (now fiance and Sir) had me wrapped up when i openly cried in front of him about something personal I was going thru (not at all bdsm related). I knew for the first time in my adult life it was true trust.

i think that's how you can know you're made a perfect match with your Dom especially for your introduction into this life/style.. that you felt so comfortable and in trust with him you could release yourself by crying which is to you, like me it seems, is a very vunerable level and i'd liken is worse to being stipped and naked in front of complete strangers (non bdsm's of course haha).

i personally think (IMHO), it was a beautiful thing and how fortunate for you to have such a loving wonderful Dom!